Mark Manson‘s tagline is”personal development advice that doesn’t suck.” His bestseller The Subtle art of not giving a f*ck (asterisk mine*) is about focusing attention on and caring about what is most important in your life.
As I understand the subtle art, there are 3 kinds of f*cks
1/Giving a f*ck – giving your attention to things that may, or may not, be important in your life.
2/F*ck it – the liberating choice to stop caring about stupid stuff.
3/Not giving a f*ck – caring about something so deeply you are willing to pay the price. I get it when I feel strongly – passion, outrage – about something. I’ll do the work, take the pain, suffer the consequences. And I do not give a f*ck.
Here’s a quote from Mark and you can read his article here.
Most of us, most of the time, get sucked in by life’s mean trivialities, steamrolled by its unimportant dramas; we live and die by the sidenotes and distractions and vicissitudes that suck the f[*]cks out of us….
So lately I have been using up my f*cks on the wrong things
- The Voldemort election. Headlines, editorials, debates, polls… click click click… week after week after week. Did.not.see.it.coming (you didn’t either, did you?). F*ck it, political news and analysis! I do care, deeply, though about what has happened. It’s an awakening, a call to action for compassion, tolerance, humanity. I need to figure out my path… what… how… to become an active humanist
- Work. Intruding into thoughts… at the gym, with friends, during walks in the forest, at night, in my dreams. F*ck it, over-thinking my job!
- Being the Fury homemaker (description of me below, take your pick), on a merry-go-round of the first 30 seconds of this video. F*ck it housework, f*ck it dinner!
When the Titan Cronus castrated his father Uranus and threw his genitalia into the sea, the Erinyes [Furies] emerged from the drops of blood…. Virgil recognized three: Alecto (“unnameable”…), Megaera (“grudging”), and Tisiphone (“vengeful destruction”).
Somehow I had stopped paying attention. Then, next stop, I stopped being able to stop paying attention. But finally I did stop. Or I slowed down. And I read some cool articles from Mark. Then I decided:
Here is where I am going to give my f*cks, and I do not give a f*ck:
- As I said : actively taking a stand, putting some skin in it. There is a cost to complacency.
- The people I love: my family and friends. I’ll take a bullet for them or, more likely, drive them to and fro, cook and clean, laugh, argue, listen, care.
- Taking care of myself: gym, eating well, reasonable grooming 🙂
- Taking care of business: groan. (ok, this one does NOT belong here. I’m just trying to trick myself into finally giving a small f*ck)
- Learning: Italian, great books, music, painting…
- Creating: Like this here blog…I’m aiming for 1 post/week (and not 1 post)
- Getting outside: Seeing, feeling, living the world outside, walking in the forest, at the sea, in a city. Visiting new places, new countries. Museums. The sunset. Stars. The bugs living their parallel existence in my garden.
So there it is, my bullet list of f*cks.
Have a great week.
* Mark leaves the asterik out. I put it in. I don’t how blogging works yet… and adult content is not my intended genre. BTW, adult is a euphemism for you-know-what. It’s also the antonym of childish. Such is our binary human condition. Lastly, etymologically eupheme is the opposite of blaspheme. I don’t know what the f*ck it’s called when you put an asterisk.